The 5 Stages of Grief after Death

The Kübler-Ross model identifies the five stages of grieving, popularly known by the acronym DABDA (and can applied to any life-changing situation, not just death):

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I remember the first night trying to sleep after my dad’s death. I was totally in Denial thinking it was all a bad dream. And after watching a detective show where they faked someone’s death to gain information, I was waiting for my dad to walk through the door saying it was all set up.

The Anger sets in every time I read my father’s mail, having to deal with all his creditors and his lack of resources to pay them.  My grandfather passed away a week after my dad died. My grandma admitted she was in the anger stage, asking why grandpa had to leave her. I can’t even fathom how lost she must feel without him after being together day in and day out for sixty years.

Then I think I bypassed the Bargaining stage and went straight from Anger to Depression.  Last month the stress wreaked havoc on my immune system, and I was sick with influenza and pneumonia. Laying in bed feeling like you got run over by a truck is definitely depressing.

But I am finally getting my mojo back, and hope to be on the road to Acceptance soon.

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